Inexistent.

I hoped to wake up to a bright warm morning.
My night passed in waiting, fidgeting. 
I stirred out of my deep long sleep;
it must be morning! But it was dark still,
"Not yet then" I thought and drifted back again.
 
Hours had passed, time to welcome sun-rise.
"Still dark.. but why?" I had slept for long,
now it was time that I see the dawn.
But all I had was darkness,
as dark as a dead can live in.
 
Then my realization commenced,
I am actually dead, sleeping my eternal sleep.
The warmth and brightness of a day 
would never reach the depth of this coffin.
 
It's cold, must be the stone.
I feel the chill reach deep inside me;
a place where my heart should have been.
I could hear nothing, not even a heart-beat.
But of course, there ain’t a heart to beat.
 
It’s quiet in here, that’s what “dead-silence”, I guess. 
But the dead don’t feel, can’t experience anything! 
Then where could I be? What is this solitary?
Could it be a place, not in life yet not amongst the dead?
This must be something hung in between;
this must be “Nothing”!
 
May be, it’s just me! It’s me emitting the darkness,
and in me it’s being absorbed. 
It’s me shrieking out a silence only I could fathom. 
The ice that was freezing my inside
must be my own cold soul. 

This must be the place, where now I belong.
It’s neither as bad as living, nor so good as dead.
This must be the place where existence had left me alone.